Mirror mirror on the wall whose the fairest of them all? I remember watching this scene in the Snow White movie as a younger child not knowing THEN that this would haunt me into my teenage/adult years. And my story begins….
Once upon a time, I grew up in a family and community where always dieting was the norm. If you weren’t trying to get thinner than what were you DOING with your life. Doesn’t THIN = BEAUTY & SELF WORTH? I was also apart of activities and sports ( ie gymnastics and competitive cheering ) that strongly ENCOURAGED being “THIN”. When I was in middle school, my gymnastics coach used to tell us how we were fat and threatened to put us on scales. Sadly, there are many other stories. Like the time in 8 th grade, I was the top flyer ( the b*tch being lifted in the air in cheerleading) and my coach told me that they were replacing me in front of the whole team with a 6th grader because she was lighter. I ran to the toddler size bathroom ( have you ever been in an elementary school bathroom. That shit is tiny!) I sat there with my knees by the ear-lobes and sobbed my eyes out. Fast forward to college, I was called a “BIG GIRL” and told I needed to “ Look the Part” or else I couldn’t compete for Nationals or cheer at big televised games. Your skills didn’t really matter just your appearance.
I know many people especially us ladies have endless stories like this (hey girl hey!). My stories disconnected me from my body. I had no relationship with my body at all. In fact, if I saw my body on Tinder I would have swiped Right. I AVOIDED looking in mirrors and even eye contact with any part of my body in the shower because even when I did LOOK .. all I could see were my flaws which were ugly.
But discovering yoga, allowed me to tap into how my body moves, feels, and what it needs. Its ironic that a place where I used to judge as a place where only thin-plant eating people who exposed more skin than I could ever while doing awkward poses …ended up helping me finding my inner/outer beauty. Therefore, I am dedicated to this practice and opening awareness for those who struggle with the same body-shaming I did. Trust, I still have my moments when I look in the mirror but now instead of the negative talk…I give gratitude and love for all imperfections because that makes me the fairest of them all.