This day will forever be remembered but not because it is my birthday. This time last year while I was sick as a dog with the flu. I got the call from my mom. She said “Casey I am so sorry it’s grandpa “. I dropped to my knees and sobbed saying “ no mom no!!” Noises came out of my body that I didn’t even know were possible. My heart felt such severe pain as if it were actually tearing apart.
Now let me go back. When I was born on March 24th many years back. My grandpa wasn’t doing well health wise. And because of this my parents named my middle name after him (Raymond ). They named me Casey Ray in honor of him. He was a fighter and his health improved.
From then on, my grandpa took a very special liking to me. I don’t like to say I was his favorite because he had many other grand children that he loved deeply. But I was up there. And I never knew why. He constantly always asked about “ my Casey” and would call me making sure I was okay. He also loved to tell the stories of how I would give him sass as my young bratty self. Example: he picked me up from gymnastics once and I said “ where’s my father” and he said “ he asked me to pick you up “. I repeated that I wanted my dad to pick me up. Needless to say I was not grateful but he bribed me with ice cream ( food issues even back then haha). Or the time I sent him a Valentine’s Day card which he kept all this time that said “ even though I don’t always show it. I love you”. Wow I was a poet even back then. These stories would bring a light and joy to his face as he told them as I was mortified.
He meant a lot to me as I meant to him. My husband even had to ask his hand for my marriage. It was a MUST! Which he did of course and we planned our day for November 2nd, 2018. My grandpa was going to walk me down the aisle with my dad that day.
However, on March 24th, 2018 my grandpa was driving to church ( at age 95) and got into car accident. And that was the day he finally re-joined his bride (my grandma Doris) in heaven.
Devastation entered me. He always called me on my bday but my dad told him that I had my yoga teacher training so not to call until later. But I was home ...with the flu. I needed to be home for this call. That I now know.
Two weeks after his death I called a medium @nikkinovo to connect with my grandpa. It was incredible. He was making his sarcastic and inappropriate jokes about his death. And he was happy with his “ bride”. He told me that I was one of his favorites because I was fearless as a kid but he noticed as I got older I became more worrisome like my parents. I was taking less risks. My grandpa’s main message to me was if he had taught me anything it was to not take life so SERIOUSLY..
I felt clear and lighter after talking with Nikki and reaching my grandpa. Since then, I am getting back to my bold bad-Ass self. I have been taking risks and doing things that scare me.
This all led me to my passion which is healing and serving others through yoga, physical therapy, and reiki. Because this is how I have healed and am still healing. The title and purpose behind@caseyrayyoga is dedication to my grandpa Ray and how he wanted me to live my life.
I love you 3 grandpa ️
Birthday Sorrows